Space

I once said that

* school will be good for hatice since she will have her own space away from her anne, baba n baddin to grow n develop*

..not the exact words...but close enough..Today, i have just realized that it works both ways too for baddin..

All these time...eversince he was born, hatice has played an important role in his life..*abla* is always there...today i have just realised that perhaps he felt overshadowed by hatice... hatice can do this...hatice can do that... n there he was... n perhaps is.. stuggling to match his sister's standard..n never getting there... Hence, he cowed inside...not really being able to build his self confidence.....For one week he is with me alone at home..despite the loneliness he feels inside, i think he is slowly trying to be self reliant... With abla around, he never even tried to for example clean after himself (big n small project)...saying *ben yapamam* (i cant) everytime i asked him to... now that he is alone.. he has become more receptive... listening intently to my instructions that for the last 2 days he is cleaning after himself after each toilet..A week ago he very very rarely bothered to hold a pen or a pencil... now that he is alone, every morning without fail, he will hold a pen n try to write something.....his writing should not be compared to hatice's of course ... he is experimenting with lines...but he is getting better each day.. n i sense that hatice's absence is a motivating factor in this....there is no abla to compare to... at least at the moment of his writing.....perhaps inferiority complex steps in when there is someone else other than his anne..?

Anyway, he has a year to build his self confidence.. n i have a year to play my role in training him in a lot of things that i did not...i feel guilty coz i feel that i am not doing enough for him n her even... i know i should have do this n that ..sometimes i did sometimes i dont.....i am not a consistent mother...does that make me a bad mother?... what defines a bad mom? i dunno... All i know is that with only baddin at home...just the two of us.. i find myself being able to concentrate more on baddin n his self development...i just hope that by next year... he will be *ok* to enter his pre school education in a more confident way...a more confident self..

i notice too that the fact that he started to speak quite late does affect his confidence..i cant teach him turkish.. my turkish is not good...hatice comes home around 5pm..halil around 7pm.. i have to rely on them for language..For now, i am slowly excellerating his english.....soo many things to do..so many....

A Space....i think we all need it.. we need space to develop ourselves at our own pace.. not having anyone to overshadow or push us..we need space to think on what to do.. we need space to develop the ineer strength that we have within us.. we need space to collect what needs to be collected...To have a space is good but too much space will lead to laziness...so that will be bad...a space once in a while is a good space...

Anyway, wish me luck......Look at me.. my daughter will be 6 in february n i still have got lots to learn about parenting... But then that is about life isnt it? Learning never end..it is a continuous effort ..at times learnt from past mistakes... To learn from the mistakes... n trying to be a better person from the mistakes is what makes a better person... n i... am a mother of two.. still trying n learning to be a good mom...a good wife... a good sister... a good daughter.... i am still learning..

Thank You for hopping by..Hope to see U again next time....

Hatice Ve Okul

In order not to bore u all with the school talk all the time, i have decided to create a new blog specifically to record hatice's development in school...

Click here

or

www.haticeveokul.blogspot.com

for a more detailed development of my daughter's studies...My memory is faulty... this is the only way i know best to keep the record alive...

Thank You for hopping by..Hope to see U again next time....

Ramadhan..7 Years Out of Malaysia..

Warning!! Warning!!

THE PEOPLE R DİSCOURAGEd TO GO SHOPPING

BEFORE İFTAR

(The opening of the fasting= berbuka puasa)!!

Yup.. believe it or not that was one of the advice given to the people on tv *chuckles*....What they say may be true..i mean to go shopping while the stomach is grumbling for water n food may be a reason as to why we as the consumers *borong* (buy) whatever we see upon sight..* red alert..red alert...food..drinks..i must buy!!*

But they (those making the news) obviously have never been to The Malaysian Pasar Ramadhan where rows n rows of stalls r set up along the street n people sell all types of food n drinks imaginable there....yemek ve içecek cenneti... YOU..cannot help urself butto want to buy a lottt from there...ie..this murtabak which i havent eaten for years

As i was growing up, i remember how my mom would prepare various types of drinks on the table..... hot milo..hot tea... n next to it..a few types of fruit juice bought from pasar ramadhan like sugar cane juice-soy milk juice n lengkong... (terliur dah air liurku..waaaa..sabar sabar)...n loadssss of ice as well....

The food? rice as usual n varieties of dishes n gravies n what not..n dessert again bought from pasar ramadhan.. the table would be full.. n by 7.35pm..at the first sound of the azan...i would first attack the cold drinks..drink drink drink sampai perut pun sebu....lepas tu nak terawikh pun...lembikkkkkk ja heheheheh

and Rendang Negeri 9...always...

my mom cooks it wonderfully..n yana n abi n along were bragging about eating rendang mak on the phone the other day as well..depa memang nak kena dah oiiii..tensennnnnnnnnnnnn

7 years i have missed those..

U cant blame me 4 wanting to eat my local food, right? I grew up with it....But i also know that i should enjoy the present n not live in the past...

n yup.. i do....

Ramadhan in istanbul..When u mention ramadhan..2 special things come to mind...

Ramazan Pide

-A must have Ramadhan bread for iftar-

Güllaç

-A Ramadhan Dessert-

(will try to add in the recipe in my recipe book soon)

Normally, for iftar..especially on the first day of Ramadhan, we normally eat breakfast for the breaking of the fast (iftar). This is not just a simple breakfast..normally a rich breakfast will be served where for example things like.....

• olives (green n black)
• sliced tomatoes
• salam
• pastırma
• sucuk
• yumurta (eggs)
• omelette with either salam, sucuk or pastırma
• sosis
• Börek
• many many types of cheeses
• honey
• jams n preserves
• dates

etc etc etc..

breakfast.. with pide...hot pide straight from the oven at the baker's shop...

(Ask my sister yana..she is a fan of straight from the oven turkish bread that after returning to Malaysia.. she still cannot forget the bread.. pide is special definitely esp when it is hot)

I am afraid until halil buy himself a new handphone, i cant snap any new photos as i used to... so till then we will have to make do with photos i find on the net...

Do turks have breakfast for iftar thruout the ramadhan? hehe of course not.. the normal course is...

Once the azan is recited, the people will start with breakfast (hot turkish tea, pide n breakfast things...). Later, the iftar will be followed by hot soup. Then, the main menu will be served. It is usually rice with a meat or chicken dish on a plate. After the main dish, the people will start eating the cold dishes already spread on the table... ie cold salad, norlu biber, dolma,zeytinyağlılar,..etc..etc... all those cold dishes in the turkish menu..The dessert will then be served after the cold dishes n later followed by the turkish coffee to help the digestion of the food eaten earlier on...During dinner, normal cold water is served...(in my case-coke). Later, again tea will be served while the people chit chat with each other..at that time again perhaps salty things like salty poağca etc will be served...n the chatting goes on till weee hours...

I think for Türks, iftar has a special place in their hearts. They r the social type that inviting people to ur house for iftar is very common.İftar besides eating together after a long day of fasting is seen as a great way to get together...We invite people to our house n people invite us to theirs....it is common.. n i remember baba..every year..early of ramadhan, the children have to make a booking on the days for baba to come to their houses coz baba normally is booked for iftar almost everyday!!

When i was growing up, i remember the surau or the big mosques will serve food for those going to terawikh... in turkey giving food is also practised.. they have this *iftar cavdırı* (iftar tents) where big tents r set up at specific places..set up by either the municipal governor or certain societies n people .. ..regardless of who u r can go in line n ask for the provided food at the tent..normally bread, rice, hot dish n dessert r provided at these tents..The poor n students especially r secured from hunger this way...the que to get the food is always very long but hey! For those in need... the food is a blessing..i have never tasted the food from the iftar tents..halil wont go in line ever coz he thinks that if he does, he will be eating the *hak* of those in need of the food...n i think i agree with him...

So this is a basic overview of iftar in malaysia n istanbul..we r hosting an iftar this saturday for the zaim family..still dunno what to cook on that day...ingat nak masak kari.. tak sure lagi.. biar pedas biar terbakar mulut depa sikit hehehehe...

Will continue on ramadhan in istanbul some other time.. i am terribly exhausted these days..dunno why...

p.s
Mama sarah
Everytime i try to enter ur blog, my pc will *hang*.. cant check ur blog.. is this that beta thing again????

Thank You for hopping by..Hope to see U again next time....

Announcement

My The Quill of My Heart Blog has evidently become too full with entries that a dear friend has been having difficulty entering my blog.. Hence, i have decided to use Mak Lang's Method n created a new *much emptier* blog for easier access.

The old entries can be found at this link

(www.sz1.blogspot.com)

or as to be found at the side bar (on ur right) of this blog..

I apologize for any inconveniences. But hey! This is what happens if u mumble too much huh?

Hope to keep seeing u here.. :0)